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Scottish Election Special: who not to vote for
Here in Scotland it's nearly time for elections of some sort. Yes, "of some sort" I said, because I'm not entirely sure how all this political wrangling works. All I know is that some idiots have been delivering promotional leaflets to my door, which contain views from political parties that I do not like!
Yes, that party would have to be the British National Party. I heard someone say once that the BNP were Britain's equivalent to the Ku Klux Klan, but I think that would be going overboard. Even still though, the long and short of it is that the British National Party are "far right extremists", or, in plain English, racist lunatics. They are, in their own words, "committed to stemming and reversing the tide of non-white immigration" and "restoring, by legal changes, [...] the overwhelmingly white makeup of the British population that existed in Britain prior to 1948".
And although most of their viewpoints seem to be relating to "keeping Britain white", their party leader has also spewed out some anti-semitic and homophobic nonsense, scoring a triple-whammy on the electorial twat-o-meter.

So, when these goons put this leaflet through my front door, I was more than a little pissed. So pissed, in fact, that I immediately set to work annotating their flier with a good old dose of common sense, before telephoning them and telling them never to come near a square foot of my house ever again.
The informational pamphlet is careful not to put forward too many extreme views, and even includes some catch-all positives that nobody could disagree with, before slipping in some more questionable items. The BNP, apparently, stand for getting hooligans off the streets, more police officers, bettering health care, and higher quality housing. What's not to like! Oh, except that it's the BNP. Sorry, I nearly forgot. The three less enjoyable points the BNP make in their leaflet are as follows:
Scotland has been flooded with immigrants from the EU [European Union], who squeeze locals out of jobs and push down wages. They strangle the economy by shipping their earnings home.
Yes, damn those immigrants who come to Glasgow and set up stores selling computer components without ridiculously marked-up retail prices. How DARE THEY come here and give us a good deal! Damn them all! (PS: Scotland is PART of the EU).
The BNP will restore discipline and traditional teaching methods to make sure all students are literate, numerate and well educated, instead of being fed trendy PC nonsense.
This point doesn't sound too bad, until you read the last part of the sentence. I'm sure in the BNP's eyes, "trendy PC nonsense" is shorthand for "acceptance of people who look different from us or have a different opinion on what is and isn't sexually attractive".
The BNP will support current and encourage new Scottish industry and business. We will protect companies and employees from unfair foreign imports.
I sincerely hope then, that the computer accessories and components you used to create this pamphlet were all manufactured here in the UK,
otherwise you'd look like even bigger morons. But how likely is that? Not very.
Anyway, that's the end of this post. I'm off to watch the adventures of white heterosexual non-Jewish people on my 100% British-designed TV... if it turns on, that is! Bye!

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The BNP are the biggest bunch of arseholes our country has ever seen. 'Nuff said.